Monday, January 3

Absence Resolves Much

In have spent the last week camped in the old family home in England, wrapped in the warmth of family, food and a wood burning stove.

Outside the snow was unusual. I don't remember snow at Christmas for about 30 years but it was a fun distraction. That same snow had kept me from getting to England for a week of my supposed 2 week vacation. Much to the chagrin of my mother and family. Snow in Chicago and snow at Heathrow were trying to keep me stateside. But for the grace of Kathy at United reservations, I may not have got here at all. She found me a cancellation on a direct flight from SFO which got me there on Christmas Eve rather than on the 28th.

So I am sat at 34000ft over the atlantic, heading back to the bay, via Chicago. The clouds lay underneath, a soft candy floss snowscape, I peer out of the window wondering what this year will have in store for me.

This year changed more than I could have imagined. Personally and professionally I hit some rough road, had to steer to avoid some major potholes, hit others, sustained some damage, repaired and seemed to come out the other side pretty well.

The break up was a blindside that was staring me right in the face. It was hiding, semi sized in a blindspot I had created out of pride and ego. I didn't take it well. But you learn through mistakes.

She is talented, will be successful and is still my friend, and hopefully will always be. There is nothing that people can say that will change the fact that she changed my life forever, for the better.

Who I am now is contributable in a large way to her. Giving me confidence in myself, to express my personality and individuality. But also to just be happy again. There is a road to travel here, and it's always in progress but she showed me the right exit to take. I like where it is taking me.

We always talked about people traveling paths in their lives, sometimes they intersect for a period, long or short, and then move apart. Our road trip together was longer than most, shorter than some but incredible none the less.

I became an uncle this year, in August. That wasn't something I was expecting either. Seeing Matt and Cas with their daughter, my niece, Olive, was an extraordinary experience. She is adorable, and I think based on her parents genes will be both smart and attractive. She has a lot in life to look forward to. I also know that seeing and playing with Olive has made me revise my perception of having my own kids from maybe/not against the idea to one of maybe/and I hope they don't cry as much at night! I hope the genetics of a mellow partner translate to a baby that would sleep more.

Having hours to kill on flights has given me plenty of time to think about what I need and want. 2011 will be the year to set that all in motion, to work on me and not coast along.

I have plans for me, my professional career, my personal life. Not that it needs a revamp or changing entirely. But I need to take a look at some of the details and work out what is right for me. It won't be hard, or frightening, but it's time to take some control of my destiny. One of my best friends told me that he was really proud of the place that I was in. I am happy and compared with a few years ago I am entirely a different person.

I am not sure what the next couple of months hold. But they are going to be different. I have met some incredible people in the last few months. Some funny, some talented, others smart and interesting and one just simply gorgeous. There have been a couple that aren't quite as sane. I wish those ones luck ;)

Starting 2011 in a very different place from last year is certainly interesting. I know I have great hopes for what the year will bring and with who. Definitely a journey I am looking forward to.






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